I don’t know why I am standing where I am

Posted: December 6, 2014 in Uncategorized

I don’t know why the power and purpose of life has set my feet upon this rock
this rock, and not another
with a more comfortable vantage point,
without the contradictions

I don’t know why I have conversations with police officers
who describe the harm they experience from angry crowds
as well as marchers angry about excessive force.

I don’t know why I hear the voice of my black brother one day
speaking of his numb soul, the decades old story
and overhear the coffee conversation of my white males the next,
describing a different world altogether.

I don’t know why I sit surrounded by my gizmos, like the one in front of me  now,
knowing that in other places I have been they live without so much as bread.

I don’t know why most of my waking hours are filled with the already believing
but I am frequently put in the way of those who call it all into question.

I don’t know why one day I share time with those who are most informed by guiding myths,
but the next day shoot the breeze with those who assume quantum everything.

I don’t know why I fully understand plunging into the sensory world of now,
but also hear those select few who know that the party is always ending as soon as it begins.

I really don’t know the answer to any of these questions. Nor do I know why my feet, these feet, stand here.

But they do and they are mine.

I have to believe that beyond every polar opposite and duality,
beyond every jarring contrast,
lives some unifying truth, a core kind of reality,
that unites these diverse little worlds that so often spin out and away from each other.

At least I pray so. And I’m not even sure for what I am praying.

It may be nothing more than a confession of not knowing but trusting.
Maybe that’s enough.
It better be.

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Comments
  1. Janie M says:

    Good one! It is comforting to know that you, who seem to have it all together, actually have as many questions as the rest of us. Thank you!

  2. barb says:

    Thank you Geneivive, I don’t even think I spelled your name right 🙂
    I travel in different conversations, worlds, outlooks….sometimes its hard to search for what might be unifying, and I question what I believe, and what I choose to speak or act on. Tthank u for your comments, it helps, maybe we are not as separate from each other as we sometimes seem.

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